This may seem obvious, but it’s easy to fall into the trap of serving money and the things that supply us with money. Greed and anxiety can leave us in a place where we feel we don’t have enough and need to do whatever we can get more. But as humans, we only have a few good decades on this earth to live our best lives. So we must constantly remind ourselves: money serves us, we don’t serve money.
How do we serve money?
Speaking to Co-hosts Sandi Bragar and Cammie Doder on their podcast Money Tales, we talked about how we often find ourselves in servitude to money.
We forfeit relationships. This July, I had to dip into savings with everything going on – and must admit, it didn’t feel great. Especially when an old friend tried to take advantage of me in a moment of vulnerability. I think he was letting money serve him, hustling for a little extra at the expense of a relationship.
In response, serving money would feel like anger or bitterness, and might look like argument or retaliation. Instead, I did my best to let money serve me. I reflected on how I was blessed with what I had, and reminded myself that regardless of how he approached it, what he sold me was useful – it served our family’s needs and enabled Laini to enjoy a valuable internship.
We damage family commitments and personal health in service to money. Perhaps we give too much to our jobs, we miss the important moments with loved ones, or sacrifice personal wellness time. Short-term, we may benefit from promotions and increases. But one day, we’ll look back with regret at the moments, memories, and health we can never get back. In the big moments, I plan, shift, invest, and do everything I can to choose family.
We consume > contribute. Life is not a zero sum game, but sometimes it can feel that way. We don’t believe we have enough time or resource to volunteer, join that committee, or help the neighbor in need. So we consume and build our kingdoms.
This may provide a feeling of security… I get it. But at the end of our lives, will we ever wish we had more? Or will we wish we had contributed more? Our family has found that every time we contribute, even when it takes a monumental effort to get started, that our family is blessed beyond any reason or expectation!
A great read: Bronnie Ware wrote The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, which is so distilling. Here’s a pdf recap if you haven’t read it and want just the highlights.
How money can serve us
Separate Need vs. Want. Having just moved (and having moved a lot in life!) I make this an active weeding exercise. As we pack, we pull out anything we haven’t used in the last year and give it away. Then on the other end as we unpack, if anything doesn’t fit the home, we immediately get rid of it. The result? No dusty boxes in the garage of things we don’t need (and definitely don’t want!)
Do the Math. On the pod, I was asked how we can validate we consume < contribute. Well, we do the math. When Laini was younger, we used an app to help her divide up her allowance into Spend – Save – Give allotments.
As adults, we track against the same math. Are you dividing your monthly income upfront? If we don’t intentionally set portions aside, it’s startling how quickly it can disappear and we’re suddenly living month to month.
Hold it Loosely. Remember, money is temporary, but the impact we can have with this temporary currency can reverberate forever.
Click here to listen to the full podcast and check out www.social-legacy.com/podcasts for all my recordings. For related articles, check out:
- An awesome podcast with the inimitable Shaun Rein – he shares great wisdom on money management
- Three ways to increase your impact now