I first heard this (concerning!) phrase while chatting with Falk on our P&G Learnings for Leaders podcast. So I did a little research and here’s what I found: “Friendship Recession” refers to the increasing lack of connection between people. In fact, according to the Survey on American Life, the percentage of American adults who have no close friends as quadrupled to 12% since 1990! 😳 Meanwhile, those with 10+ close friends has fallen by 3x. It’s true, we’re in a friendship recession.
So, what’s causing this friendship recession?
- Predominance of Technology. The same survey showed that 40% of Americans claim to only have online friends 🤯 Sit with that for a minute. No passing of warm plates, no clinking of glasses, no falling over each other as gales of laughter overtake us. Now, I’m not saying online friendships aren’t meaningful – I have some great friends I’ve met and only engaged with virtually. But to only have online friends feels like we’re missing some of the depth, texture, and richness of human connection.
- Importance of Work. Increasingly, we identify with our work titles. If not our primary jobs, our side gigs. In fact, the gig economy has put free time (e.g. time to socialize) at a premium. Maybe because we love being busy with both jobs, and maybe because economic pressures are making time an even rarer luxury.
- Decline of Faith. My friend Ed made a comment the other day, “the benefits of being part of a church are incredible!” The Pew Research Center agrees – they found that active religious adults are more likely to engage in community. Concurrently, Americans who don’t identify with any faith has grown from 17% to 26% over a decade.
And here’s what we can do about it:
- Don’t sacrifice community for convenience. In a world of contactless payment and deliveries left at the door, tech enables us to live a life of complete isolation! Can’t get up the energy to fight traffic today? Texting your friends you can’t make it? Fight the impulse and get out the door! Community feeds your soul like this amazing bunch in Amsterdam 🥰
- Create opportunities to bring amazing people together. My friend Jon Levy has inspired me with his gamechanging Influencers Dinner – I realized we can all create shared experiences that build and deepen human connection. In fact, I recently hosted a fun evening with amazing people at one of my fav restaurants!
- Start introducing yourself without referencing work. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but you’ll begin to find other ways to connect, identify yourself, and perhaps realize the myriad ways you both find and contribute joy in life. For instance, with the TikTok account I just started, I refer to myself as CEO, Author & Mom. All three are equally important to me, because I’m more than my job.
Let’s get ourselves out of this friendship recession.
I imagine us each as sparkling drops of water in the ocean. We’re each a small part of the whole, but if enough of us pull away, the entirety of the ocean shrinks. If we continue to pull away into our little bubbles, our broader communities will be negatively impacted, individual struggles with loneliness and mental wellness will amplify, and truly, the whole world will be impacted. So let’s dive in. Embrace the friction and discomfort that friendship requires and then immerse in the joyful embrace of community. It’s worth it.
For related articles, check out: