What is Orbiting the Giant Hairball?

It’s a fanastic book! Written by a 30-year veteran at Hallmark Cards, the book honors creativity and considers its intersection with the bottom line.

That topic is still important and relevant – and there’s a second layer to the concept that resonates with me. You see, if the hairball is the complex center of corporate (critical with great gravitational pull, if a bit hairy), entrepreneurial leaders thrive when we find a good spot to orbit. That is, identify where we may benefit from the organization’s resources while still pioneering outsized growth.

So I’m orbiting the hairball.

I’ve enjoyed leading the Jovian planets, those circling a little further from the sun. So, what defines a Jovian planet in the corporate world? It’s when you’re charged with an audacious change management agenda and empowered with decision-making to right/grow the P&L.

Working abroad half of my career, geography has frequently set that context. But even before that, I worked on the Walmart customer team for P&G, which was one of the most fun jobs I’ve had!

Should I keep orbiting the giant hairball?

Naturally, after answering the first question, I wondered if this is steady state or even future state. I know I’m comfortable here – and with my recent role leading West, I’ve gotten much closer to the sun… leading more of a terrestrial planet (yes that’s twice I’ve cited NASA in this post). You can take the nerd out of science but you can’t… well, you know.

Anyway, it’s the right question – and the reason I’m sharing here is, we should all take time to reflect on where we’ve been, where we are, and where would like to be.

• What are the contributing factors to a space where you thrive?
• Does what worked for you 10 years ago work for you today?
• What gets your heart fluttering and your imagination racing?

Here’s to your orbit. May you fly high and soar.

For related articles:

• What you need from your boss to succeed
• The power of reflection: becoming unbreakable
• Sizzles and pops: joy in the workplace
• The power of social legacy in the workplace

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1. Find a Chinese mentor

Over dinner, Jimmy Qian inspired me with his intelligent questions about what it was like working in China. He’s an ABC (American-Born Chinese) who’s bi-lingual… increasingly rare these days! And as we spoke, it struck me to introduce him to a Chinese-based mentor. This seemed to be a practical way to build mutual understanding and respect.

Then it occurred to me, we should each have a Chinese mentor! According to Pew Research, U.S. views of China are at an all-time low. To me, this is a shame because there’s so much I believe each country can learn from the other.

2. I still need a mentor.

Bill Imada and I shared the stage for a panel about mentorship and as we chatted, I realized… I still need a mentor. I’ve just asked someone at work to mentor me; and it became clear that I could use a mentor to help me with the development of “The Spare Room” film project.

You see, we never stop learning, and our ability to continue evolving is in direct proportion to how proactive we are in our pursuit of knowledge. I’m going to ask Bill to mentor me, using the advice I shared on stage. That is to be: 1) Intentional – yep he’s the one and I can communicate why, 2) Clear – here’s what I hope to learn and what I hope to contribute, 3) Specific – how frequently I’d like to meet, for how long.

He’s SUCH a joy and our chemistry reminded me of the “Sizzles & Pops” I wrote about here 😄

3. Learn from young people

Doris Guan reached out to me with some questions, but I walked away with the richer learning. As we spoke, I commented on that fact that she’d written her Chinese name on her lanyard. The young woman immediately responded with passion: “We declare our English names, and even our pronouns… why shouldn’t we proudly proclaim our Chinese identity, too?”

Wow.

She went on to describe how she noticed people of different ethnicities speaking their native tongues with pride. But it seemed Chinese people often stick to English, even when conversing among ourselves. That’s why Doris has made it an intentional decision to always write her Chinese name next to her English name and it’s inspired me to do the same.

We’re only halfway through the month and AANHPI Heritage Month has already inspired new thought and action in me. This captures 3 things I’ve learned this AANHPI Heritage Month… What have you been learning?

If you enjoyed this post, check out:

• How are you telling the story of your life?
• The Chinese word for ‘creativity’
• From my NYU TEDx talk, Be brave in your learning!

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The Tribe

We may not live together, but we share a strong sense of community and belonging. When we’re together, conversation flows and dances in a smooth, jazzy rhythm, because we speak the same language. We nod emphatically at each others’ wisdom because we hold similar beliefs. Maybe we share a love of sports, hang at the same park, or just fit together and laugh until we cry.

Special shoutout to my precious delicious wonderful Shanghai tribe (upper right)! A couple years ago, I threw a big themed Wanderlust party and brought all the brilliant, funny, creative, joyful people I love to the beautiful Artyzen hotel. 26 spent the night, 14 got piercings, most got temp tattoos and every had a blast.

The Village

We might live together, but we’re more complementary than we are similar. Old films reference the “town drunk” or “village idiot”… that unique cast of characters with whom we share life. True, conversation may feel stilted, group events might get awkward and we may even experience friction.

Living as a village requires stretching our comfort zone and broadening our experiences. And yes, living in a village inevitably comes with some degree of friction. Yet it’s this friction that challenges us… and challenge promotes growth. Because if we only surrounded ourselves with a tribe, life would come with less friction, but also less stretch.

By the way, as I assembled this village collage, it became apparent that we found these special folks under one common umbrella: we met while serving together #LifeLesson.

Upper left: one of our monthly birthday parties for Lotus’ old neighborhood (see The Spare Room book, Chapter Five “The Prostitute’s Daughter”). Upper mid: service holiday at Utila, bringing groceries to the elderly on a not-very-accessible island. We initially went to volunteer at Jasper’s Animal Shelter (Chapter Four “The Vacation”), expanded our service, and met friends along the way! Lower mid: our new extended family as Teo moved from our. home to live with his forever family (Chapter Four “A Place to Die”). Lower right: service holiday building a school for disabled kids in Guatamala through the great program offered by IVHQ.

Meet our village today

Tim and Hannah live in the detached studio up and behind our house (isn’t it cute!) They’re brilliant creatives working to get their careers off the ground, so they live with us rent-free. So, here’s how our village works: it’s a beautiful two-way flow of support, contribution, value, respect, and love. Hannah often drops Laini when I’m not available and they care for the dogs while we’re traveling. The couple do laundry at our place and then include our order on their Costco runs. Some evenings, I bring up extra dinner and occasionally they bring down a special pourover coffee so we can enjoy the morning together.

Oh, and last week, Tim came to help when I got lazy, thinking I could dispose of an old bed frame without dissembling it first.

The tribe and the village. Let’s embrace both and live our richest life, full of colorful complexity and exquisite texture. And along the way, let’s grow into our best selves.

For related articles:

• Sizzles and Pops, on shining brightly
• More on our service holidays
• Send your teen girl to China with us!

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WHY are you sharing this information?

Start by asking yourself this question. Because in fact, you may be the source of gossip, without knowing it. Gossip is the unnecessary sharing of information that can harm another. So ask yourself – are you sharing to inspire, educate, or uplift? If not, what is your motivation? Because the opposite of helping, is to hurt or debilitate. See, gossip is a dangerous weapon in the workplace. It erodes psychological safety, not just for the person being discussed, but for everyone.

Gossip is a form of manipulation.

It’s a coward’s way of not dealing with a relationship head on. And it comes from a person not having the integrity or bravery to engage directly with an issue or a person. So, even if you’re on the listening end of gossip, stop participating. Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated.

The author Steve Mariboldi wrote, “How would your life be different if… You walked away from gossip and verbal defamation? Let today be the day… You speak only the good you know of other people and encourage others to do the same.” This is a great challenge we should all take on in 2024!

Gossip negates all the good.

We work so hard, invest with intention, and pour our hearts into the workplace to create a positive, inclusive, and inviting place to work. But one mote of gossip can wound the workplace… and if left unchecked, can debilitate it. In fact, gossip steals joy from the workplace.

Now, you might be wondering, why am I so concerned with gossip? Perhaps it even seems trite. Well, the more folks are invested in the small-minded talk of people, the less we’re investing in the great exploration of ideas.

Leaders create experiences.

See, we aren’t in the business of “managing people”. Rather, leaders are responsible for creating, curating, and nurturing an environment for creativity and productivity. How do we do this? By being present, and by helping people feel seen. Of course, we can only do this if we’re listening and checking the pulse of the organization. And when we observe energy spinning around gossip, we need to stop it.

Here’s to positive energy, productivity, and an in-it-together mindset. In 2024, let’s stop the office gossip!

For related articles,

• Here’s how to create sizzles and pops in the workplace
• Why sometimes, people shouldn’t see the most important jobs
• The importance of being a consistent leader
• How eery silence in the workplace is also a watch-out

Photo cred: redgreystock

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Shinkai was inspired to create this film after the 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami. What an incredibly creative expression and meaningful piece of work to ensure that people wouldn’t forget the disaster and its impact on the country.

As we listened to Shinkai speak at the Ted Mann Theater, his whimsy, thoughtfulness and compassion washed over us in waves. Of course, the fact that he brought the adorable three-legged stool on stage made us all “awww” in unison!

The power (and importance) of creativity

And then he remembered wondering, “Is creating animation really a necessity at times like this?” referring to the 2011 earthquake. In response to Shinkai’s self-reflection, the director created this gorgeous film. Now I admit, I’m not really an animé fan. But this film was a massive success and I understand why; it landed as the fourth-highest-grossing anime film of all time! That’s because in addition to the gorgeous animation, there are a number of impactful messages embedded in the film.

The most important jobs, people shouldn’t see.

Samuel Johnson once said, “The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.” Isn’t this so true? Often it’s when we do our best work, that no one’s around. “Dude, no one saw that high jump?!” Or we do something good for someone and there’s no witness in sight. Do we look around, seeing if anyone noticed our good deed? Or do we remember that the most important jobs, people may not see?

Now that I’ve had the honor of hearing Shinkai share, I must go back and watch the film again. Undoubtedly, his voice is going to come right through that little chair!

For related articles, check out:

• The Chinese word for creativity
• Evaluating the BEST ideas
• Sizzles & Pops!

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You see, crafting routine enables me to be my best self.

It’s all about letting conscious choices guide me, and intentionally allowing temporary, fleeting things to fall to the wayside. For instance, I start my daily routine with 15 minutes of meditation. Then glancing at my calendar, I set goals for what I want to get accomplished that day. All this before I check emails/texts so that I’m leaning into the day on my front foot.

Routine is also good for my physical health.

I’ve identified which days I intermittently fast and which days I exercise. It’s all noted in the calendar. Sounds anal and maybe a bit boring, right? Yet, crafting that routine enables my body to be at its best.

By the way, I’ve recently gained a few pounds and gotten imbalanced. That’s because I lost my routine! When my daughter went to Spain for the summer, I traveled more and lost my rhythm. Still trying to get it back now 😐

Last, routine enables us to experience more joy!

It’s true – I believe that maintaining consistency in our habits enables us to experience a more steady joy. That’s because we don’t find ourselves oscillating from one moment of temporary happiness to sudden dips of stress. Perhaps you know just what I’m referencing. That feeling of hurry-up-and-wait, where we never quite feel on top of our game. Rather, our day runs on an undercurrent of anxiety. “What am I missing?” “Did I forget something?”

In this way, crafting routine is like mapping out flow. We’re laying the groundwork for our own energy flow.

So craft your routine today.

So go ahead and craft your routine. Be present in the moment. And remember, the more we train our mind and body in consistency, the smoother we fall into flow.

For related articles:

• The power of emotional granularity – getting intentional and specific on how we feel
• Tangible tips to live with intention
• Sizzles and pops – the power of the subconscious

Photo credit

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1. What’s the secret to business success in China?

So many answers came to mind, but the keys to me reside in curiosity and humility.Things are changing so quickly in China. Frankly, no one can afford to sit back and act like we’ve got it all figured out. And in fact, if we’re honest, no one does. We simply learn as we go.

So, those who are most agile, who are willing to ask questions and who learn to flex are the ones who leapfrog the others.

2. How should we leverage Chinese tech ecosystems to our advantage?

Two thoughts. 1) Start by understanding what every company does best. Tencent is grounded in social engagement, Baidu in search, and Alibaba in commerce. There’s a ton of overlap, but those are pretty foundational.

2) Understand what’s currently hot for each company. For instance, I shared how at Starbucks, we quickly built an integrated digital gift card experience called 用星说 or “Say it with Starbucks” by collaborating with Tencent. Mini-programs had just become a thing and they were interested in creating a use case. What a perfect opportunity to leverage the tech expertise of a massive powerhouse to accelerate our brand ambitions!

3. How do you harmonize work and life?

In a word: Authenticity. I truly believe that we give the world the best of ourselves when we’re willing to be ourselves. It’s when we boldly step out and declare who we are and what we stand for, that we give permission to others to do the same. What an empowering and amplifying energy!

And that’s bridging cultures and building brands in 30 minutes!

For more on the topic of authenticity and living into your true and best self, check out:

• Who are you?
• This Halloween, let’s take off our masks
• Don’t “fake it till you make it”

For the full podcast, check out…

Image credit in order of appearance: Plant,

Chart, Starbucks iimage

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Hygge is about intentionally creating a feeling of coziness and wellbeing. And what Jaesin taught me about Kibun is a mindfulness to details that allow everyone who enters our space to feel a deep comfort for the spirit. That’s what he felt living in our spare room, and it’s just what I felt at this little cabin.

How COZY is this?! I loved waking each morning and falling asleep each evening in the comfort and quiet of this special place. As I looked around at all the little touches in the cabin, the word, Hygge, caught my attention.

What is Hygge?

Pronounced “hoo-guh,” The New Yorker defines hygge as “a quality of coziness and comfortable conviviality that engenders a feeling of contentment or well-being.” I’m loving this! As the daughter of immigrants who bought the good quality furniture and promptly wrapped in plastic, I’ve opted to enjoy and use everything in the house. And sure, I love beautiful clothes, but my closet contains more than one pair of hyggebukser – those pants you’d never be caught dead wearing in public, but live in when you’re at home.

Is Hygge the secret to happiness?

Sure, life brings challenge, disruption, and frustration. No, things don’t always go the way we want, and heart relationships inevitably come with misunderstanding and hurt. But generally, I’m a truly happy person. More than happy… joyful. Why? I think it’s because I live in the cozy and delight in creating a space of comfort for those around me.

Maybe hygge is the thing we should curate and cherish. Perhaps as we intentionally focus on that feeling of contentment, we start to feel more content. And this may be just the thing that we should cling to in life, knowing how it feeds our souls, and those around us. The Danish seem to have figured it out; as Wiking says in his book The Little Book Of Hygge, “What freedom is to Americans. . . hygge is to Danes.”

Perhaps being able to deeply appreciate the small, hygge pleasures in life is exactly the secret to happiness.

For related articles, check out:

• And the people stayed home – written in 2020 right at the beginning of COVID pandemic
• Sizzles & Pops – how when we create a space of open engagement, nurture passion, and encourage innovation, the room lights up!

To book this airbnb in Utah, go find the amazing Pepper and her cabin here!

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In our episode, we talked about:

• Sizzles, pops, and Kibun
• Feeling comfortable with asking for help
• The powers of your subconscious
• Social legacy & marketing

Listen to the full episode of The Whole Marketer Podcast on my Youtube channel here.

Related Contents:

“Sizzles & Pops, the Dangerous Power of the Subconscious, and a Pink Ball of Yarn” Blog Post

The post The Whole Marketer Podcast appeared first on Social Legacy.

Sizzles & Pops

When we create a space of open engagement, nurture passion, and encourage innovation, the room lights up! Nothing gives me more joy than experiencing those sizzles and pops when strangers meet in my space and quickly become a tribe. This is what my Social Legacy is all about: Kibun, creating a comfort for the spirit.

Abby asked, why don’t we see more leaders doing this? I think we haven’t seen it role modeled enough… yet. Remember when Brené Brown introduced the concept of vulnerability in the workplace? She gave us words to shape what we were feeling, and which we can now express. In the same way, we can benefit from witnessing leaders who role model true authenticity. In part, this speaks to the need for representation. We need to see and lift up different types of people, who model different styles, and help them succeed and thrive in the workplace!

But sometimes, we let our light dim.

We think to ourselves, “I’m not outstanding,” or “I’m good enough but not great.” We wonder, “Who am I to shine so brightly?” Now, we don’t want to become arrogant or cultivate an inflated sense of self, but when we diminish our light, we’re missing out and so are those around us.

In fact, having an objective perspective of what we offer pays tribute to how we have been so uniquely and wonderfully made. For this one precious life, don’t we want to live it to the absolute maximum? So, fully embrace everything you think can do, everything you offer, and bring all that is unique and precious and special about you to the table! Then, here’s what happens: once you put your Social Legacy out there, you might find someone else who has the same. You will immediately spark to each other and the power that’s amplified when people who share a similar Social Legacy meet is so exciting! Because we suddenly find ourselves with like-minded, like-hearted, like-spirited people who want to have a similar impact in the world! Sizzles and pops, galore!

Beware the dangerous power of your subconscious.

Wait, isn’t my subconscious a good thing? Sure, it can be. The subconscious mind is where our brain makes decisions without actively needing to think about them. Some refer to it as our lizard brain – that primitive part of us, which is dominated by instinct or impulse and can serve to protect us in times of danger.

In fact, we humans are so good at pattern recognition, much of what happens on the subconscious level triggers so quickly, that we don’t even recognize it’s happening. But sometimes, if we don’t pause to interrogate our decisions and judgments, we may be yielding to irrational fears or insecurities. We might be passing judgment on others, without even realizing it.

That’s why we should pause in the micro-moments to analyze what conclusion we just drew and why. Let our conscious mind confirm what our subconscious might already believe and why. In the process, we’ll be exercising more conscious grace towards ourselves and others.

This is where the pink ball of yarn comes in.

To understand this reference, check out the 8min short: Purl the pink ball of yarn. I remember when I was recruited by IHG and met the CEO. Kenneth looked like a stoic, British man and I immediately wondered if I should dye my blue hair back to black.  Why was that my first question? Why wasn’t I thinking about why he’s interested in my leadership, or what talents I bring? Instead, my first thought was whether I should conform physically. That lizard brain! See what I mean?

We must pause in these micro-moments, before we yield to the nasty inner whispers that can so easily dominate and begin to reshape us. Purl’s transformation is so whimsically and artfully visualized in Pixar’s short. And it resonates deeply, because it is all too true.

In Summary:

• Look for, fuel, and celebrate the sizzles & pops!
• Don’t you let that light of yours dim.
• Beware the dangerous power of your subconscious.
• And stay pink.

Related articles:

• 3 ways to create a culture of belonging
• Protect your spark!
• Hope in the workplace

My lizard meme was built off this photo, dim lightbulb

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