Sure, it’s important to be in the right state of mind when approaching a new challenge or tackling a particularly hairy problem. Mentally, intelligence and wisdom can take us a long way. But if our state of heart isn’t right, we’ll find ourselves struggling every step of the way.

So, how do we get our state of heart in a good place?

1. Build your confidence. Courage isn’t taking action in the absence of fear, rather it’s moving forward despite the fear. Therefore, an understanding of our capabilities can serve as an anchor for our self-belief. You see, fear can compel us to shrink inward, to make ourselves small. Check this out: imagine yourself as a balloon. When you diminish yourself, you may look something like this:

But when you start testing the edges of your boundaries… stretching yourself to see what’s possible, you expand. You get all big and shiny and beautiful! 

So try something new and build new capabilities. Allow your confidence to grow as you begin doing the things you thought you couldn’t. This will be wonderful for your state of heart.

2. Recognize what feeds your spirit. Then, make sure you get enough of that on a regular basis. Because we may be great at some things, and perhaps those things have afforded us a comfortable salary and lifestyle. But that doesn’t mean we enjoy those activities. So, what do you love doing?  Lean into something meaningful that speaks to you on an emotional level. 

Maybe it IS work- hallelujah! Or maybe a tweak or expansion of your job scope can get you there. For others, work is perfectly fine, but the thing that feeds your spirit resides elsewhere. That’s also all right. If you develop the sensitivity to hear and trust where your heart is being pulled, lean in. Your heart will thank you.

3. Find your tribe. I feel tremendously blessed that my husband, daughter and I share such a rich, loving relationships. Truly, I don’t take this for granted! They’re my tribe. Whatever the challenge, I dive in with a solid state of heart because I know they’re with me.

Indoor skydiving!

In fact, the importance of tribe is in part, why I feel so strongly about uncovering your social legacy. Because if you identify your own unique contribution against the issue or opportunity that most speaks to you… and you then find others who feel exactly the same… how incredibly powerful will your tribe be?!

What is your state of heart?

If you’re not feeling great about it, invest time to: 1) build your confidence, 2) identify that which feeds your soul, and 3) surround yourself with your tribe. 

Thanks to Maria Bailey for the discussion that inspired this on your Ordinary Habits, Extraordinary Life podcast. To listen to our full conversation, click here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-20-living-inside-your-social-legacy-with-best/id1491986795?i=1000529493548

Deflated balloon, bright yellow balloon, smiling heart

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In our episode, we discussed:

• How to define your vision as a CEO when no one hands you one
• Why purpose and legacy matter more than ever
• Building executive teams that can drive transformation
• What it means to earn followership in an era of change
• My unique model: Fame, Fortune, and Fun

Listen to the full episode of The CEO Podcast here to learn about what it takes to lead in today’s dynamic business environment.

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Read more about the UChicago Fireside Chat here.

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In our episode, we discussed:

• A career at the intersection of Culture, Commerce, and Innovation
• Navigating China’s Evolving Consumer Landscape
• Strategic Growth Initiatives in China

Listen to the P&G Alumni Podcast Episode with Sarah Kochling here.

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So, what’s causing this friendship recession?

1. Predominance of Technology. The same survey showed that 40% of Americans claim to only have online friends 🤯 Sit with that for a minute. No passing of warm plates, no clinking of glasses, no falling over each other as gales of laughter overtake us. Now, I’m not saying online friendships aren’t meaningful – I have some great friends I’ve met and only engaged with virtually. But to only have online friends feels like we’re missing some of the depth, texture, and richness of human connection.
2. Importance of Work. Increasingly, we identify with our work titles. If not our primary jobs, our side gigs. In fact, the gig economy has put free time (e.g. time to socialize) at a premium. Maybe because we love being busy with both jobs, and maybe because economic pressures are making time an even rarer luxury.
3. Decline of Faith. My friend Ed made a comment the other day, “the benefits of being part of a church are incredible!” The Pew Research Center agrees – they found that active religious adults are more likely to engage in community. Concurrently, Americans who don’t identify with any faith has grown from 17% to 26% over a decade.

And here’s what we can do about it:

• Don’t sacrifice community for convenience. In a world of contactless payment and deliveries left at the door, tech enables us to live a life of complete isolation! Can’t get up the energy to fight traffic today? Texting your friends you can’t make it? Fight the impulse and get out the door! Community feeds your soul like this amazing bunch in Amsterdam 🥰

• Create opportunities to bring amazing people together. My friend Jon Levy has inspired me with his game-changing Influencers Dinner – I realized we can all create shared experiences that build and deepen human connection. In fact, I recently hosted a fun evening with amazing people at one of my fav restaurants!

• Start introducing yourself without referencing work. This may feel uncomfortable at first, but you’ll begin to find other ways to connect, identify yourself, and perhaps realize the myriad ways you both find and contribute joy in life. For instance, with the TikTok account I just started, I refer to myself as CEO, Author, & Mom. All three are equally important to me, because I’m more than my job.

Let’s get ourselves out of this friendship recession.

I imagine us each as sparkling drops of water in the ocean. We’re each a small part of the whole, but if enough of us pull away, the entirety of the ocean shrinks. If we continue to pull away into our little bubbles, our broader communities will be negatively impacted, individual struggles with loneliness and mental wellness will amplify, and truly, the whole world will be impacted. So let’s dive in. Embrace the friction and discomfort that friendship requires and then immerse in the joyful embrace of community. It’s worth it.

For related articles, check out:

• Pilgrims don’t travel alone
• The power of tiny interactions

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• Keynote | Barrier IQ: Mastering Barriers for Transformative Growth. Provided a tangible framework to identify your personal barriers, and tools to break through each type.
• Guest Speaker at Dinner with Rika Nakazawa, Chief Commercial Innovator and Author.

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In our episode, we discussed:

• Innovative Sports Marketing in China to drive consumer engagement and brand innovation
• Navigating Marketing Challenges at Apple
• His Leadership and Personal Values: Embracing Diversity and Personal Expression, Authenticity
• Applying Sports Principles to Team Dynamics: “Pregame” Mindset in a Corporate Setting

Listen to the P&G Alumni Podcast Episode with Adam Antoniewicz here.

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• The fun of liquid collaboration
• Comparing Chinese and German cultures
• The importance of getting from weird to wonder.

Listen to the P&G Alumni Podcast Episode with Falk Fuhrmann here.

Related Contents:

• We’re in a friendship recession

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