I recently recorded an interview with the She-Suite podcast founder and CEO, Melissa Dawn Simkins. Among many topics, we touched on the one thing women must stop doing.

Check out the She-Suite podcast here and for this specific topic, forward to 33:38.

Ladies, we must stop beating ourselves up over mistakes.

Because that self-flagellation keeps us from learning. It diminishes us, stagnates our growth and prohibits us from moving on with more wisdom and intention.

How often has someone come to you to apologize for a mistake, and you quickly respond, “No worries! Let’s learn from this and move on.” And now take a moment to reflect, have you EVER reacted to your own mistake with such quick grace and generosity?

Probably not.

Because women have a propensity to mire in what we feel is our own inadequacies, stupidity, or weakness. But everyone makes mistakes and the only thing that keeps us feeling inadequate, dumb or weak… is ourselves.

Perhaps we’ve been so hard on ourselves because no one has ever said to us, “It’s OK. In fact, maybe this isn’t even about you. Or… maybe you did screw up, but I believe you’re not going to do it again.” Think about this for a minute: when is the last time an older women affirmed these things to you, such that you were able to respond with relief and gratitude, “Yes. OK. You see me as worthy and intelligent. And so do I.”

I’ve been pondering this a lot. How might we soar if we stopped clipping our own wings? How might our light shine, if we didn’t feel a compulsive need to dim it? And, how might I be that older woman to the younger ones, now?

I want you to know: It’s going to be OK. You are OK.

In fact, you can and should be the best version of yourself. But you won’t be the best version of yourself if you’re hating the worst version of yourself. So this week and every week, I’m going to do my best to share this message to all the amazing women in my life, who can and should be their best, most sparkling and inspiring selves.

Photo crews: inspiremetoday.com, good therapy.com