We often refer to our State of Mind (cue Billy Joel). But I’ve come to believe that our State of Heart must be in the right place, too.  

Sure, it’s important to be in the right state of mind when approaching a new challenge or tackling a particularly hairy problem. Our intelligence and wisdom can take us a long way. But if our state of heart isn’t right, we’ll find ourselves struggling each step of the way.

So, how do we get it right?

1. BUILD OUR CONFIDENCE. Courage isn’t taking action in the absence of fear, rather it’s moving forward despite the fear. Therefore, an understanding of our capabilities can serve as an anchor for our self-belief. You see, fear can compel us to shrink inward, to make ourselves small.

Check this out: imagine yourself as a balloon. When you diminish yourself, you may look something like this:

A sad state of heart - dejected and shrunken

But when you start testing the edges of your boundaries… stretching yourself to see what’s possible, you expand. You get all big and shiny and beautiful! 

State of Heart - a full, shiny, beautiful balloon!

So try something new and build new capabilities. Allow your confidence to grow as you begin doing the things you thought you couldn’t. This will be wonderful for your state of heart.

2. RECOGNIZE WHAT FEEDS OUR SPIRIT. Then, make sure we get enough of that on a regular basis. Because we may be great at some things, and perhaps those things have even afforded us a comfortable salary and lifestyle. But that doesn’t mean we thrive off those activities.

So, what do you love doing?  Lean into something meaningful that speaks to you on an emotional level. 

On the other hand, maybe it is work- in which case, hallelujah! For others, maybe a tweak or expansion of your job scope can get you there. For yet a different group, work may be perfectly fine, but the thing that feeds your spirit resides elsewhere. That’s also all right. Because if you develop a sensitivity to hear and trust where your heart is being pulled, lean in. Your heart will thank you.

grateful state of heart

3. FIND YOUR TRIBE. I feel tremendously blessed that my husband, daughter and I share such a rich, loving relationships. Truly, I don’t take this for granted! They’re my tribe. Whatever the challenge, I dive in with a solid state of heart because I know they’re with me.

Emily Chang | blog | A happy state of heart | tribe | family
Indoor skydiving!

In fact, the importance of tribe is, in part, why I feel so strongly about your social legacy. Because if you identify your own unique contribution against the issue or opportunity that most speaks to you… and then find others who feel exactly the same… how incredibly powerful will your tribe be?!

What is your state of heart?

If you’re not feeling great about it, invest time to: 1) build your confidence, 2) identify that which feeds your soul, and 3) surround yourself with your tribe. 

Thanks to Maria Bailey for the discussion that inspired this on your Ordinary Habits, Extraordinary Life podcast.

To listen to our full conversation, click here.

And for more of my podcasts, go to this page.