My friend Rui made this statement as we shared a coffee recently. I found it simple and wise, worth sharing.
The idea is this: we have to define our own success metrics for life, considering our own unique combination of who we are, what our family needs, and the context in which we thrive.
This requires self-reflection to know ourselves well. It also takes honesty and objectivity, to not fall back on the “standard” metrics society has taught us to value. And it takes courage to pursue, to stand for, and to live every day.
Assessing our lives through the lens of another, even when we meet or exceed those objectives, may leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled. Rather, defining what success looks like for each of us, then living intentionally against that definition, can lead us to a life of meaning, fulfillment, and purpose.
Emily, I see this in my 24 year old (birthday today!) son, who defines his values/success metrics by what he can do for the environment and spending as much time as he can outdoors in nature and my 22 year old daughter who is passionate about social issues especially women’s causes and LBGTQ rights – as a student at University of Maryland she did a short documentary on Casa Ruby https://casaruby.org/ several years before the major news networks, who are just now picking up on this story. Very different than the “values” and success measurements I was exposed to growing up in a household with parents who lived through the depression and both participated in WW II (Dad in Europe/Mom in UK). My success measurements were get an education and find a good job to pay the bills. My children will stand on their own and I am thrilled to see their success metrics for life, I think it’s reflective of many of the younger Millennial’s and older Gen Z and maybe, just maybe their metrics will have a huge impact on making our planet a better place for all.
John, first I must wish your son a happy birthday! My daughter’s is 10/23 🙂
It sounds like you’ve raised them right, that both kids are invested in leaving the world better than they’ve found it. I understand your reflections on how you grew up – as a daughter of immigrants, my upbringing was “work hard, get good grades and the best job you can for financial stability.” I deeply respect what my parents went through in order to give me a better life. AND I think there’s opportunity to refine our success metrics as we mature, and as the world around us changes.